wherein Ashley read bad fanfics

Ashley: "their flaming man-rods clashing in the dimness"
Ashley: ok
Christy: wat
Ashley: flamin man-rods christy
Christy: where
Christy: is this from
Christy: i
Christy: i don't
Ashley: bad fanfic porn
Christy: wh
Ashley: flaming
Ashley: man
Ashley: rods
Christy: clashing
Christy: in the dimness
Christy: i
Ashley: i just imagined like, a 300-esque battle or something but with dicks
Ashley: tonight we dine in hell
Christy: SLOW MOTION PENETRATION
Ashley: flaming man-rods clashing on the battlefield
Christy: STOP THAT RIGHT NOW
Christy: I'M IN CLASS
Christy: FUCK
Ashley: GOOD
Ashley: I HOPE THE PERSON BEHIND YOU IS READING ALL THIS
Christy: NO NOT THAT
Christy: I'M /THIS CLOSE/ TO SHRIEK!LAUGHING
Ashley: flaming man-rods clashing on the battlefields, as rain poured from the heavens
Ashley: warriors falling upon one another
Christy: our dicks will blot out the sun
Christy: then we shall fuck in the shade
Ashley: comrades skewered in the heat of battle
Christy: jesus i can't-
Ashley: flaming man rods pulsing in the light
Christy: fFUCK
Ashley: captain: "tonight we will pierce the ass of the capitol and take what belongs to us with flaming man-rods and rocks of steel. Men, you shall penetrate the enemy forces and leave them scattered and begging for more."
Ashley: /badpornomovie
Christy: FUCKING STOP I'M GOING TO DIE
Ashley: w-well its not like i WANTED to clash flaming man-rods or anything... BAKA
Christy: LKAHSDGAHSDFASDLKFHASDKLR
Ashley: says uguuu edowardo-kun to sugoi jacob-sama
Christy: SHIT
Christy: PLEASE
Christy: NO MORE
Christy: I AM GOING TO CRY
Ashley: /just as planned